Sealab 2021 -- Doctor Quinn: Medicine Man
by wolfsheim
Summary: Dr. Quinn is leaving Sealab? The only way he'll stay is if he gets an apology from Murphy? Bye Quinn.


Sealab 2021: Doctor Quinn, Medicine Man  
by: wolfsheim  
  
2nd fic, 1st Sealab fic  
  
Dr. Quinn is leaving Sealab? The only way he'll stay is if he gets an apology from Murphy? Bye Quinn.  
  
[Main Room, Captain Murphy and Sparks are watching T.V.]  
  
T.V. Announcer: ...which, if true, means the death of everyone on Sealab. The only method of prevention is t-  
  
[Murphy changes channel to Chopper Dave]  
  
Sparks: Captain, maybe we should've...watched that.  
  
Murphy: The hell you say! This is the Chopper Dave Christmas Special (tm).   
  
Sparks: But it said something about Sealab dying.  
  
[pause]  
  
Murphy: One more outburst like that and I'll throw you to the wolves!  
  
Sparks: You mean sharks?  
  
[Marco and Debbie enter]  
  
Marco: Hola, Capitan.  
  
Murphy: Don't you start Marco!  
  
Marco: Que?  
  
Debbie: Has anyone seen Quinn? We were supposed to play nude backgam...er, um, euchre.  
  
Murphy: Debbie, if you cross that line again, you're fired!  
  
Sparks: Captain, will you just calm down for a minute.   
  
Murphy: The next person who questions my leadership abilities is fired!  
  
[Quinn enters]  
  
Quinn: He-hey yo everybo-day!  
  
Murphy: That's it Quinn, you're fired!  
  
[pause, Chopper Dave goes Hiy-oooooooo]  
  
Quinn: What? Is this a joke?  
  
Murphy: Marco, wrench.  
  
[Marco pulls out a wrench and hits Quinn in the face]  
  
Quinn: MY EYE! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY EYE!  
  
[Murphy looks at watch]  
  
Murphy: Oooh, lunchtime. To the cafeteria!  
  
[all but Quinn run off to cafeteria]  
  
Quinn: ragafraga...THAT'S IT!   
  
[Cafeteria, all are sitting]  
  
Sparks: What was that earlier, Captain? Is it that time of the month?  
  
Murphy: What time of the month? Bastille Day? Take your Hamster to Work Day?  
  
Debbie: He means your self-destructive, maniacal, unfounded rage.  
  
Murphy: Oh, that. I'm a monster before I have my fruit cup.  
  
[holds up Dole fruit cup (tm). Quinn enters and stands next to Murphy]  
  
Quinn: Captain, I quit. My hard work has gone unnoticed long enough. I could be curing diseases or solving world prob-  
  
Murphy: Has anyone seen Stormy?  
  
[Cut to Stormy standing next to Carl's pool and Meatwad, Shake, and Frylock]  
  
Stormy: I think I took a wrong turn. Is this pod six?  
  
Meatwad: I heard pod six is jerks.  
  
[Back to Sealab]  
  
Quinn: Hey, I was talk-  
  
Murphy: What about Hesh?  
  
[cut to Hesh in Harvey Birdman's office]  
  
Hesh: Hesh wants some sex!  
  
Birdman: That isn't exactly legal precedence.  
  
Hesh: Sue someone...get Hesh some sex!  
  
Birdman: Why don't you-  
  
Hesh: SEX!  
  
[back to Sealab]  
  
Quinn: I'm outta here! Ragafragin' crackers...  
  
[Quinn exits, pause]  
  
Murphy: Yes...I know your game, Quinn. Trying to overthrow me.  
  
Marco: Captain, what are you talking about?  
  
Murphy: Silence underling!  
  
Debbie: Captain, maybe you should take a leave of absence.  
  
Murphy: That sounds like a good idea...ASSASSIN!  
  
[Marco throws wrench at Debbie and knocks her out of her chair]  
  
Debbie: Oww, damn! You hit my eye! Why the hell did you hit my eye!  
  
Murphy: Quickly Marco, to my room!  
  
{Murphy and Marco exit]  
  
Debbie: He's losing it, how could he think one of us would try to overthrow him?  
  
[closeup of Sparks, getting closer as his speech goes on]  
  
Sparks [in crazy, evil Sparks voice]: YES, he will fall! Then he will rue the day he crossed Sparks! The Murphy age   
  
will end and the Empire of Sparks will arise! Then I can cleanse Sealab of sinners and eventually...the world.  
  
[Sparks looks up to find the cafeteria empty]  
  
Sparks: Or not. Whatever.  
  
[cut to Debbie walking in hall with Quinn]  
  
Debbie: Quinn, you can't leave. Who will I have sex with?   
  
Quinn: Is that all I am to you? Do you realize all I've done for Sealab?  
  
Debbie: Um, yeah. Where are you going?  
  
Quinn: I'm not sure yet. NASA, greenpeace-  
  
Debbie: Why don't you try out for the NBA?   
  
Quinn: Oh, I see, the black man _has to_ be good at basketball!  
  
Debbie: What are you talking about? You led your college to four national titles.  
  
Quinn: oh...right.  
  
[cut to Murphy's room, cardboard box labeled "sewpur defence machene 3000. Warning: contains uranium]  
  
Murphy: Marco, are you done installing the security system?  
  
Marco: ...Done, sir. Now what do you-  
  
[Murphy pulls out a gun]  
  
Murphy: Get out...CONSPIRATOR!  
  
[Marco backs out. Murphy turns on his security system. A digital readout starts to count down]  
  
Murphy: Yes, let's see them take over now. MUAAHAHAHAHHAH!  
  
{pause, drinks out of fruit cup]  
  
Murphy: ahhhhhhh.  
  
[shot of Sealab exploding]  
  
[[credits roll, shots of Hesh in court being sued for sexual harassment, Stormy in the Danger Cart with ATHF cast,   
  
Quinn playing basketball, and Quinn's visible robot body in the shower with his team]]  
  
~*-\/-*~  
  
Hope you enjoyed it. Sealab is a great show. 


End file.
